The Teen Life

I often think of them at night. Sometimes I just say a quick prayer whenever I feel like my name is being called.

I am a mother to many kids not my own.

I meet them three to four times a week in my class I enjoy doing even when I am so exhausted after a flight. I wish I could help them in their most complicated growing up years. I wish my influence will be helpful. I hope they will make wise choices.

I pray that they will have that one person who will build them up no matter what season they are in.

I pray that they will choose their friends carefully. Stay away from vices. May they all have the fear of God in them.

I love them to bits, like my own.

Teenagers are fun if they are not your own. I love listening to them. But deep inside I know I made my mom’s head spin a million times.

“You are loved, my dear”. I will keep on telling you that. No need to rush to grow up and fall in love. Make the most of your young life.

I’m telling you, you are growing too fast.

One day you will realize all of us all old farts are right all along.

No need to be cool. Be holy.

Burn Bright

Don’t look at them.

They are just pretending.

So silly of me to have considered them real.

Those are acts of pretend

Who are they fooling?

They act as if the world revolves around them and yet the

silence of the night and the hate that builds up

left unaddressed.

She got her pride soaring up the ceiling.

He’s got his delusions on the material, tangible and yet he

is as blind as a bat

as cold as an eskimo in his igloo,

naked and proud.

But us :let us keep our hearts burning

Bright as the sun as we hold on to each

other.

Don’t follow the crowd.

Keep our knees on the floor, as He

is faithful who keeps us whole

even when everything is gray and as if

nothing is going right.

God is with us.

Distractions

I am glad that our flight rosters are getting more manageable these days. We are getting enough rests. We are having the balance between work and life. Our days off are so satisfying.

And yet, I often catch myself distracted by many useless things. I have given my precious time mindlessly scrolling the screen for hours on end, by that time I realized it’s already 2 am. Then I can’t sleep anymore.

The next day I feel cranky. No good mood to greet the day.

What’s keeping you distracted lately?

When we have so much time in our hands instead of filling our time with the right nourishment we often fall easily to what’s trending in our social media feed.

I can hear God’s call. I can feel the Holy Spirit telling me to have a social media fast or delete that shopping app.

There’s so many things in my mind. Perhaps I am just trying to avoid confronting some issues that needs my full attention. Good thing I didn’t resort to retail therapy to address those issues.

I need God’s wisdom in many things.

I know exactly why I need those distractions. Adulting is still a daunting task , you know.

Sometimes I wish I can just jump into the ocean without getting wet. Or jumping out in the airplane without the need of a parachute.

And everything will just end up great.

The Land of Milk and Honey

‘Woke up this morning with a long list in mind. I was thinking to sleep in since I have a day off and I slept only 2 hours prior to a 12-hour flight duty yesterday. It was only by God’s grace I was able to do that flight.

While my boys are still as asleep, I have this precious quiet time to just drink my coffee in peace.

Today is the 2nd day of Eid Al Adha. Definitely, everywhere is jam-packed. It’s tempting to go to the mall and check some sale items but really I don’t have the energy and the time to mess with the crowd.

‘Been doing a lot of thinking and arranging lately. If we are to summarize our ten years plus in Dubai in only 3 suitcases how long will it take to do that? I am already feeling exhausted just by thinking of that. It’s not easy. And yet, every time I feel the voice of the Lord even louder: telling us to pack away and take his hand in faith.

There are days when the desire is strong and really is about time to move and get a fresh start. But there were days when the true human in me who likes comfort and familiarity wants to stay and not change a thing.

I feel Dubai and UAE is our comfort zone for so many years. God has been faithful and very much into our lives. Our spiritual family has been a great instrument to really have a relationship with HIM. We have grown passionate in our daily encounters with people that we have indeed managed to have such beautiful friendships everywhere we go that we don’t want to lose, ever.

This sandpit is our home.

But if God is calling us to obey. God wins all the time.

I keep on recalling the story of Abraham. God called him to leave Ur to find an undesignated land which turn out later to be Canaan. He obeyed unquestionably the commands of God despite the hardships. And God fulfill all his promises to Abraham. His faith was called righteousness . He left his comfortable life and thread the unknown. Putting all his faith to God.

Is God calling us to be like Abraham? Is he leading us to a New Promised Land? Is He giving us new purpose?

Only time can tell.

Meanwhile,” we are here to listen Lord. “

‘Will bake something nice later.

‘Will do Pilates before Muay thai.

I have still lots of errands to do.

But thanking God for two days off. Probably tomorrow I will sleep in ’til noon.

Charmed

“You are not everyone’s cup of tea. “

I heard that many times. I am either too skinny or not skinny enough. Not fair enough. Not tall enough. Not ENOUGH. Period.

I can hear those comments for breakfast, out of the blue, out of topic. Sometimes it still gets into my skin. Husband said we all should be thick-skinned when people criticize us. But most of the time I just don’t have enough patience to bite my tongue anymore.

True, sometimes people’s nasty comments about how we look are their personal projection of their own insecurities.

Hard enough to measure up with the world’s impossible standards of beauty when you scroll down social media, and then the people close to you expects that you are looking like the same people they see on their phones.

It’s a tough world.

You’re either cool or not.

You’re either red or pink.

You’re either IN or OUT.

What I learned through many times I have been belittled because of not measuring up to world standards that at least in the true scheme of things in eternity these issues doesn’t weigh.

My God loves me in spite and despite of what and who I am.

I may not be the prettiest, most charming, most likeable, most powerful, most successful, most attractive and every superlative adjectives you can find in the dictionary , someone loves me and He died for me.

The world will continue to celebrate what they think is the best.

But my mission in life is to only gain approval of my Savior who loves me.

And that is more than ENOUGH for me.

Away From The Crowd

I used to like being active in my social media accounts. Sharing the bits and pieces of my life in moving pictures. Lately though, I found blogging more private and more satisfying again. Away from the noise and strict comparison of Instagram.

They say a picture paints a thousand words. True to some. But I must admit photos can be so deceiving. Filters aren’t real. People always want to project that life is always easy and everything is fine. Nobody will post a photo when you got rejected or when you feel the least about yourself. It’s like a never-ending game of competing to be the best. But who can tell? Perfection doesn’t exist. You don’t really know what’s behind every image and the motive behind. You can look like a movie star and all, and still have zero self-confidence.

Negative self-esteem.

You can choose to project to be a saint and patriotic but all you want is for people to praise you.

You can appear always happy and stress-free and yet deep-inside all you want is a hug from someone who really cares.

I miss the old times when people check on people because they really want to know how are things. People nowadays just keep each other updated through social media posts. There is no depth. There is no real relationship.

What most of the time is happening is a parade of life’s accomplishments and how they never had a bad hair day.

I want to exist in the digital age to create a presence of reality and inspiration. Life is not easy and yet life is still beautiful. Even when things are difficult there is still goodness and beauty. There is no need to mope all day feeling sorry for yourself when things don’t go your way and beg for people’s attention to pity you.

Celebrate life even in the simplest and quietest way you know.

People are too busy to notice anyway.

Live it. Love it. Experience God every season, in every inch space of your social media accounts.

Wherever You Take Us Lord

We have been contemplating.

It’s the second month and yet we are still looking and waiting and seeking God for wisdom.

Do we really need to take the plunge?

Is it necessary to make the change, now?

When comfort and familiarity has been our friend for many years now, it really is such a daunting task to go for an adventure considering we have loads of things to keep in mind.

When I left my home country 16 years ago for a greener pasture I was never afraid. I was beaming with hope and excitement for new discoveries waiting for me. I always look at myself as a small-town girl bravely stepping out into the world in pursuit of her dreams. Nothing scares me. I was unstoppable.

I believe God has called me to leave and step out of my comfort zone that time.

This time it feels different and yet the feeling is somewhat similar.

I feel the itch to reach the uncharted territories beyond the sandpit.

I always knew that God has placed these dreams and desires for a reason. No matter what lies ahead of us He gives me peace as long as I stay in obedience to his Word.

This month, we will continue to scour for information. To not let any stone unturned. Praying unceasingly for God’s guidance for a life-changing decision.

No matter where God takes us, I have confidence His Hands are there to provide for us.

First of July

It is.

Yes finally summer vacation officially started today. Goodbye books, goodbye school bus rides and waking up a cranky grade-schooler at 5am. Me and the husband can finally go back sipping our Bordeaux at night when not flying and not hating ourselves the next day.

Summer breeze, I mean the summer heat is so here with 100% humidity. Well at least my flight roster is mildly busy and lots of days off in between. I am very hopeful. I am very expectant of great things to come.

I am more like myself since we have our house to ourselves.

Really, home is where my rest is. Home is where I am free. When someone tips off the balance and the harmony it’s like I turn on my beast/survival mode.

I hope it stays like this.

Let us have our space.

Thank you Jesus for the answered prayers.

Hope July is better than June.