I had a terrible week and the week before. It’s a case of a “burnout” literally. When your brains got fried because of too much heat. And my toddler is trying to be an Eskimo. He spends half of the day standing inside our open fridge thinking it’s a magic genie. How can I blame him, he mysteriously finds chocolates in the most unlikely places (in the vegetable box or in an empty jar of raspberry jam ) . I gave up trying to stop him. The last time I tried he hit me with an apple in my forehead and he crushed all our eggs with his tiny fingers. I am so close to having a Britney Spears meltdown. And I cannot rock that look.
It felt like I was drowning in chocolate milk. Since that’s all I hear all day. He looks at his milk with disgust and chants “chocowik” all day long.
I feel horrible whenever I catch myself wishing he’s old enough to go to school so I can have some real time with myself and a clean house. Because right now my toddler is a handful to be around and yet nobody believes me. Apparently Sasha is behaving well whenever we are out, whenever he is with his friends in Kids Church. I even saw it with my own eyes last Saturday when I visited my cousin who just gave birth. He listens, he sits properly, he giggles and not throw tantrums. Even with his dad he is much much more manageable. What has become of me as a mom? I used to be chill like ice now I am like the old witch in Hansel and Gretel. I am no fun. I care so much about the floor and walls getting dirty and the broccoli left to dry in his plate. I scream “No” whenever I see him drinking water in the bathtub. I hit him with the stick whenever he bangs his head on the floor when I refuse to give him what he wants. What else can I do? I am the police in the house.
I used to dream of having lots of kids. Why just one feels like a hundred already? My heart is so big but my patience is wearing thin. I love my boy dearly but I wish I can be more effective in this phase he’s going through. There’s got to be something I am missing. I can still be fun-mom without burning down the house, right?
Any suggestions? Need Help ASAP.