There’s no better person than my husband. When sky turns gray he knows how to prepare for the rain.
Lately I’ve been moody, depressed and all over the place. I don’t know if it’s the hormones or the heat. Imagine yesterday, it was 53 degrees Celsius. Our faces were oven-baked, sort of. I feel sorry for the cars under the burning heat of this summer. We had a few errands to run and we really had no choice but go out and brave the cruel sun gazing upon us.
Staying home as well is getting my brains wired differently. I long for the sea, and the cool breeze and all I have is wishful thinking. I get irritated easily for not being outdoors lately. I find it hard to live with myself when all I feel is frustration. To some, winter brings depression but here summer at its peak brings people to lose their minds. Lol.
I can complain about the weather all day and it wouldn’t make any difference. The sun will still shine like a king. But I can do something about my behavior. Thank God for AC.
You know when you hit your 30s something’s just not the same. I look at the mirror two days back and decided to video myself just to observe. I discovered new lines under my eyes, the hollowness of my cheeks getting more prominent. My face is definitely screaming for more collagen. Gosh. As you may now, I am the minimalist type in terms of make-up. I prefer the no-makeup look most of the time. I focus on investing in good skincare. Less is always more for me. And I realized as well, that heavy eye make-up makes me look older. So I changed my skincare routine and started dermarolling 2 weeks back. Oh time, you’re a thief.
I can list all my insecurities and it wouldn’t change a thing. I thank God for husbands. Sometimes they can be mean and annoying but when you needed that punch to really uplift your spirits they know the best things to say. They look at you with those eyes that makes those doubts about yourself disappear. And just like that, the hand of God extending towards me, telling me over and over that no amount of beauty will ever be as valuable as a good heart. Sometimes it’s hard to love ourselves and it only becomes easier if we constantly remind ourselves where we belong and what matters in the end and if there’s people around us who shows us that we can still be lovable even when its hard to love “us”.
Time and time again when I find it hard to find strength on my own, crying out to God makes the unbearable feels like feather. And when my heart is overwhelmed, He always leads me to the Rock that is Higher than I am. Just when my hopes are crushed He’s there giving me a new set of hope and new dreams to pursue. When I am running low on love, He fills me in with an overflow and holds me tightly in a person like my husband, or in a revelation that screams in the silence of my longing. Thank you Jesus.