Goals laid out perfectly each day, and my morning coffee makes me jump out of bed. I have a long list to finish. And the little one gets more energetic and excited each day. “Mommy” here, “Mommy” there. I really do appreciate the sweetness but sometimes mommy just want to have one more minute to finish folding laundry.
This week, I completely felt overworked. I felt awesome to be productive but deep inside me something felt off.
I missed a few days without my quiet time. There were two nights in a row I did not open my bible. I did not do my night worship. A few times I couldn’t hear His voice talking to my heart. I felt lost and the end result is easy to see. Less patience, less love. Not good.
Like a dark cloud was casted over me. And the cold wind blowing tearing my insides apart. I feel so far from Him. And instantly I felt like not myself anymore.
I prayed that He will guide me to the path He wanted me to be. I never felt so sure in my life right now because I heard his answer. But skipping my devotion time made me feel incomplete and powerless. And there, the Enemy’s lies came to attack. Yes, I want to be successful but really without Him this success means nothing.
I crave for His presence. I long for His guidance and wisdom every moment of my life.
It’s really easy to forget, and when it happens it’s as if the world around me is dancing to a different tune.
Now I realized why some things in the past didn’t go as planned. And why there’s so many things I have failed to see. So many mistakes done and feelings felt so wrong. Because whenever we feel powerful on our own, God is always there to remind us that we cannot make it alone.
Thank you Lord for letting me know every time I miss my “time” with you. And thank you for still loving me and keeping me under your wings even when I fall short.