faith · self · Writing you Heart Out

How to Deal with a Bully in your Adultlife

Bully ( Noun) – A person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.(Verb) – Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force them to do something.

I’ve had it many times. It’s strange to think that at this age you can still experience this kind of oppression. You are no longer in high school and yet the claws of this negative behaviour still follows you. Sometimes it will start as a remark until it becomes an ongoing tirade of feedbacks you didn’t really ask for. You started asking why this person keeps on bringing up your flaws and feels incredibly accomplished whenever he/she said something mean to you. It crushes your spirit. You started doubting yourself. You wish it would go away easily, but the thing is you see this person almost every day, or mostly present in family gatherings, or just there sitting next to your work desk. You want to tell him/her to leave you alone but what would that make you? Deep within you know this person likes it knowing he/she successfully pushed your button, again.

As for me the amount of resentment started climbing up in dangerous number. It feels like any moment now I am going to just give in. There were a few moments when I actually just hide and let it out. Smudging the mascara and with my fists almost wanting to hit the wall. Why do I need to tolerate this person?

Then after some time I realized this bully is not the problem.

I cannot really change the person. That’s God’s job. But I can change myself about this issue. I know myself and I believe in myself. If others don’t feel that way , the hell with them.

When you have big dreams and the people around aren’t supportive, let it inspire you even more. Doubters doubt themselves so why bother. When somebody laugh when you said you want to sing or lose weight let it push you even harder. Or when this person starts commenting about your parenting skills and making you feel like motherhood is the worst thing that ever happen to you, just smile darling.

I realized as well that hurting people hurt people. Unhappy people are sick of people who bring value in life. These modern-day vampires suck the blood out of people because that’s only where they’re good at. And instead of feeling incredibly angry compose yourself and emphatize with them. They need love but won’t admit it. They feel jealous and won’t speak about it.

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Have your power back. Don’t let it ruin your day. Be strong not just on the outside but on the inside as well. It hurts double when these bullies happen to be your spouse, a dear friend, an aunt, a cousin or a co-worker. Whenever they attack re-focus your energy. Your dreams are yours, your inner peace is yours. Don’t give it away cheap.

 

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