“Let me love you again today and forgive me for yesterday” …
As I watched him closely in his sleep I can’t help but utter these magic words, asking for forgiveness, for second chance. For those moments I failed to love you like He loved me, and how He loves you. It simply is unfair to put the weight on your shoulders, you are just human like me. It’s not your sole responsibility to make me whole, because that is God’s job. I tend to forget how husbands sometimes take this ginormous pressure . I have the inclination to measure everything and compare everything leaving the husband clueless why the wife is not happy. I am guilty of anger and unforgiveness and I asked God several times to touch my heart. To put the broken pieces back together when he said something careless or when he failed to take out the garbage.
I decided that I needed to do something in order to keep everything in order. Being married is completely different when you’re still dating. I realized that I have to come up with ways to combat my feelings and still be lovable and fight a reasonable fight when needed.
So I came up with a list of solutions whenever the husband is becoming his imperfect self leaving me a little less impressed:
1. When He fails to help me in the house chores. — I have to ask for help when I need it. To tell him I need a day off in the kitchen. Appreciate when he gets the apron and the ladle and praise him for a delicious meal.Consistently remind him how good it makes me feel when he lets me rest. Whenever he cleans the toilet without telling, simple things that add positive vibes in the marriage.
2. When he plays videogames for too long. — Remind that 3 hours tops on days off are acceptable and more than that, means verbal war later on. Nobody likes to nag, and I don’t really get guys and their videogames but I have to live with it. But if videogames starts to replace couple time like watching movies together or cuddling in the sofa when the baby is asleep , that is when playing becomes punishable. If he fails to adhere, forgive. If he did it again the 2nd time , forgive. And the third time, just go leave him with his videogame and do your own thing in the bedroom. Read. Take a long, long bath. Watch a tv episode he likes but without him. Give him some time to realize you don’t care anymore but you’re not okay. Soon he will come to his senses when there’s no dinner and the house is not clean. It gets old quickly fighting over a thing that teenage boys and their mothers used to fight about. Really some men don’t grow up. Be understanding but draw a line when too much is too much already.
3. When he is penny-pinching— Laugh it out. I used to get really upset when he’s being cheap or stingy. I realized that I just need to lower my expectations and upgrade my choice of gifts on the next holiday or occasion. Then be brutal if he gives a bad gift on that occasion. Have a solid reason to be upset when he doesn’t want to overspend. Haha.
4. When he is becoming a kill-joy. Lame. — Shoot him. Just kidding. Whenever the four corners of the house starts getting into our skin literally and me and the baby are both in desperate need for fresh air and sunlight and he rather stays home, reiterate to him over and over in a nice way that you’re doing it for the child’s health. Bug his conscience for the lack of effort. If it’s still no, take the child out for a stroll without him then you’ll see.
5. When he’s in a hurry to satisfy his own desires and ignoring yours-— Pray. Obey. Surrender. The following night sleep early don’t wait for him. If he wakes you up asking for lovey-dovey say you’re tired, and you cannot perform. Only agree only if he’s wiling to put you first if no, go back to sleep. Be extra sweet the next morning. Linger in bed.
Husbands will disappoint us time and time again. Love them and forgive them anyway. When forgiveness is running low in supply , pray. Ask the holy spirit to help you. It’s never easy to be in constant loving-mood all the time that’s why we need God in our marriage.
Every day list down at least 2 good things your husband did to you or to others. Trust me, you will not find it hard to love him over and over again.